Tuesday, January 11, 2011

You Can't Teach an Old Dog New Tricks.... Not This One Anyway!

If you are ready for a good laugh.... at my expense.... read on!
December 27th we went to the optometrist. All three of us. I have only been wearing glasses for a few years. I have bifocals and hate them. The expense does NOT make me love them any more!!

I decided life would be simpler if I wore contacts. I asked the optometrist and she said I was a perfect candidate. How good is that, not just practically perfect, but PERFECT!! 

I had gone through my daughter getting contacts in high school. I knew she had struggled, but I'm older and of course wiser!!

At the optometrists office I had a hard time getting them in; but I'm a beginner, I should be having problems... RIGHT??

I left them in the prescribed 2 hours, then made my daughter go with me to the restaurant restroom so she could supervise the removal of the contact. It went without a hitch. (More or less)

The next morning I put in the right contact without too much problem. See I told you I am older and wiser than my daughter was when she went through this.

The left contact went in on about the third try... YEAH!! I was so proud of my self. then it happened; I realized it was not in my eye... I didn't think. or was it??? hmmmm walk to the other end of the house for said daughter to check. Nope it wasn't there. Where was it??? We looked everywhere!  Call the optometrist. They put one in the mail for me. Bless their hearts.

Day three. The contact arrived. I make daughter stay in the bathroom with me until I get both contacts in. What to do when daughter goes back to college?

Day four. can't get the left contact in.

Day five... can't get the silly left contact in.

Day six... can't get the stupid left contact in.

Day seven... can't get the ridiculous left contact in....

Day eight.... maybe I should have lasik surgery

Day nine.... YAHOO got the left contact in

Day ten... I hate this contact!!

Day eleven... who's bright idea was contacts anyway???

Day twelve.... still can't get that darn contact in

Day thirteen.... can I tell you I am hating all the time this is wasting and getting me nowhere?!
Go to take the right contact out.... it's not there....       ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

Day fourteen.... go to optometrist... tell her this brand of contacts is not working for me (fail to mention I lost ANOTHER one).
She gets me two different brands to try. Left one goes in on third try. Right one goes nearly that well.

Eveninng of day fourteen..... take right contact out, put in cute little container, take left one out.....WHAT?!?! This is not real!!Yep, the left one is gone. Folded back in my eye? To the side? On my mother's floor somewhere??

Does someone have the number for a good Lasik Place???

Addendum..... day 15
This morning my eye was matted shut, and blood shot.... there MUST be something in there!!
Call on trusty niece April. Can she see the contact ANYWHERE in my eye????
YEP!!! It is now right on my eye where it belongs!
(I promise it was NOT there last night.....)


  1. Oh my gosh! I am laughing so hard! I so love this story! Thank you for bringing such a big smile to my face tonight!

  2. I'll do anything for a blog post Cricket!!

  3. Oh my word, how completely frustrating!! I'm so thankful for my good vision right now...

  4. I tried contacts once. The end. Thanks for the laugh!

  5. Ha! We all have contact stories but there is no way I am telling you mine. Let's just say there is a reason why I have them slightly tented green (not fully colored)! It works wonders in finding them! You crack me up!

    So, when is the appointment for the surgery scheduled? ;)


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